Monday, July 29, 2013

Rough Ryder Sneak Peak!


     The sound of the splash caused Trinket to turn and look out over side of the boat.  The water was calmly splashing the side of the boat as it sat offshore.  The waves soothingly, making their way to the beach before returning out to sea.  There was nothing to be seen.  If ever there was a place for peace, this was it.
     Rubbing her arms she made her way back to her chair and pulled her light shawl back around her shoulders. The night air blowing off the water was definitely getting cooler.  It wouldn’t be long and she would have to make her way back in.  Relaxing back in her reclining chair, she closed her eyes and breathed in the cool air. 
     She had been coming out here for the past month.  The only time she didn’t feel like screaming her head off was when she was on the water.  Away from all the well-meaning people.  She could only take so many of their pitiful looks.  Could only choke down so many casseroles.  She was afraid if she didn’t stay away; someone would be wearing one of the numerous green bean or chicken pans.
     Why did it happen to me? Why did it happen at all?
      Pulling her legs up in the chair, she wrapped her arms around her knees and rocked herself. The silent tears ran down her face as she watched the sun finish making its way down to meet the waters’ edge.  The sky had no right to have such beautiful colors streaking across it, while she was full of dark insignia, clear through to her soul.
     There it was again, the splash that always seemed to signal it was time to go in.  Time to return to the lonely cottage.  The little cottage where the start of a wonderful life had been.  Where there was supposed to be bonfires in the summer and Christmas lights in the winter.  Where the sound of laughter was so frequent it was embedded in the walls.  Walls, where pictures of the beautiful little family hung.
     It was not such a cheery place to go to now.  She dreaded walking up the path now.  Opening the door of the cool dark home.  The silence was unbearable at times.  There was no one there to greet her, no one for her to tuck into bed at night and give a little kiss too before singing to sleep.  No one for her to curl up to in front of a roaring fire.
     Making her way over the side of the boat, she clamored down and waded to the sand covered beach.  As always, she turned back to look one last time out across the water.  Her mind had stopped seeing, the little hand popping out of the water for her, but she couldn’t stop herself from looking.
     She stood there for what seemed like forever before finishing the walk that would take her back to her suffering.  Back into what once was the home of her dreams.
     After pulling on her warm flannel pajamas, and drinking a cup of tea she climbed onto her side of the queen size bed, tucking the pillows from the other side against her, she lay back and waited.  Waited for the endless night to pass and prayed for a dreamless night.
*****
     Laughter filled the air as the little girl ran down the beach to meet her father.  Her long blonde hair flowing out in the wind behind her.  Her cheeks pink from spending the morning outside waiting and watching the sky.  She knew Daddy was coming home today and she wanted to be the first one to see him.
     Strolling behind her, the beautiful young woman laughed with her.  She had long ago given up trying to keep up with her daughter, once she set eyes on the little two seater plane that was bringing Daddy home.  It seemed like from the time she could walk she was always running for her daddy. 
     He always made it look easy, landing the plane on the water and coasting it to the beach.  Jumping out of the cockpit he reached in and grabbed his overnight bag, then with the other arm pulled the apple of his eye up and carried her to meet the love of his life.
     Her heart always jumped in her throat whenever she saw him.  His masculine good looks and boyish charm had claimed her love five years ago.  She could hear his laughter mixing with their daughters, as she tried to con him into telling her what present he had brought home for her this time.  
     As always before they made it to the door of their home Mandy was playing with her new toys.  Her parents, smiling at her as she ran off to her room to show her new treasures to her dolls.
     “If I didn’t know better I would think that you brought that home for her to bribe her into leaving us alone for five minutes.” She giggled as he pulled her towards him. Enveloping her with his arms.
     “And sometimes I would think You, were right.” He smiled as his mouth closed in on hers.  Claiming her lips in a breathtaking kiss that made the pit of her stomach tighten.  Turning them, he pressed her up against the wall.  Imprinting her body with his.  Making his way down her neck nibbling as he went .
     Suddenly the sound of little giggles was breaking them apart as two little arms pried her way in between them.
     “Daddy why do you always have to kiss mommy for so long?” Grabbing each of their hands she pulled them into the living room and pushed them down on the couch.  Climbing up onto his lap she snuggled her head into his chest. “ You are going to stay a long time now.  Right?”
     “I’m going to stay as long as I can.  What kind of plans do we have for tonight?”  Avoiding her questions seemed to be getting harder and harder as she got older.  Rubbing her hair he looked over her head and gave a half-hearted smile to the woman he loved.
     “Mandy, why don’t you show your father the new birds’ nest we found.  I’ll get some supper together.”  Trinket new by the look on his face; he wasn’t going to be staying long and she wanted to be able to enjoy every second of it.  She watched out the window as the two people, she loved more than life itself, stood admiring the three unhatched birds’ eggs.
     After preparing a quick supper of sandwiches and chips with sweet tea to wash it down, they all sat down together.
      Holding hands around the table while Mandy said grace, Trinket knew her life could never get any better than it was at this moment.  She watched as Mandy yawned from the tiring day.  Trinket had intended on an early night, and had made sure that Mandy had stayed busy so when night came, it would be easy getting her to sleep.
     After tucking Mandy into bed for the second time they cuddled together on the couch.   Each knowing how the other felt and each knowing that this was to be a short visit.  But soon they would be able to spend all their time together.
     Sam curled his fingers through hers, “You know this is not going to be forever. Right?  It won’t be much longer and these trips will be finished.  Brett is going to be taking them back on as soon as his leg heals.”
     “I know.  I just don’t understand why it had to be you.  There are two other pilots.” She knew she was being unreasonable.  One of the pilots’ wife was fixing to have a baby and the others mother was very ill. Brett normally took this route but he had an accident and broke his leg.
     Leaning over her, he placed a hand on either side of her head.  “I think I can make you feel better. How about if I give you something to remember me by?”  Moving his mouth over hers softly, he knew just what she needed and he would see to it she got it.
     Closing her eyes as she felt his lips against her lashes she gasped.  He could always make her feel better.  And she was sure she would remember this night  in the days to come. Giggling and grabbing his hand she pulled him off the couch and they ran down the hall together. Falling into their bed.
*****
      Trinket woke with a start.  Rubbing her head from yet another migraine she had a tendency to get when she dreamed of what used to be.  Standing she made her way to the bathroom, reaching for the bottle of Fiorcet the doctor had given her.  After downing a pill, she wet a wash cloth.  She returned to her bed and lay the wash cloth over her eyes.  Knowing that when the medicine kicked in, she would be out.
*****
      “Noooooo!  Help them you have to help them.  You have to keep looking for them.  You haven’t found them. They are out there waiting for you to come get them.  Maybe they are floating around on some driftwood wondering why no one is looking for them.”  She turned screaming looking from one set of saddened eyes to the next. “You can’t just give up!  You have to find them, you have too.” Collapsing to the floor Trinket continued sobbing and pounding her fist into the floor.
*****
     Suddenly she sat up in the bed, drenched with her own sweat and her eyes swollen from crying.  Brushing her tousled hair from her eyes she looked around.  As always he wasn’t there.  She was alone.  The only sound was from the cuckoo clock Sam had bought her on their honeymoon.  So long ago.  She grabbed his pillow and curled up in the bed to spend the rest of the night reliving the most horrible night of her life.
     Mandy begged and begged Sam to take her for a ride before he had to leave.  Of course he gave in.  He was the best pilot around.  The weather was good.  What would be the harm? 
     Fastening her seatbelt around her, Trinket could remember those big beautiful blue eyes smiling up at her.  So full of life and excitement.  Kissing her daughter on the head she backed away from the plane. 
     Sam powered up the plane and they coasted out till they were far enough that he took off. Slowly at first.  He knew there would be hell to pay if Trinket thought he was being irresponsible with her pride and joy on board.  They circled around a few times waving at Trinket when they got close enough.  Then with a big smile on his face he pointed up and took off.  Trinket stood there holding her breath. “I’m gonna kill him as soon as he lands that plane safely.”  She smiled because she knew they were laughing at her.  They were so much alike.
     Suddenly she heard it.  The loud roar of the plane as it began its decent way to fast.  She knew something was wrong.  She froze as she stared out across the water.  Watching silently as her whole life ended right in front of her. 
     Then it was over. In a flash. The coast guard had searched for days.  Friends and family was with her through it all.  But she really just wanted them to go away.  To leave her alone. To leave her with her memories.
     Now  she spent her days out on the water.  Hoping that somehow she would find them.  Deep down she knew that was never going to happen but she couldn’t give up hope.  It was all she had left and no one could take it from her.

     As soon as the clock struck Six a.m. she was out of bed.  She made the bed, turned on the coffee and jumped in the shower. By six thirty she was walking down the path with a thermos of coffee in one hand and a good book to read in the other.
     Climbing on board the boat she settled into her lounge chair, to watch the sun come up.  She felt closer to them on the water.  Sometimes she thought she could hear their laughter whenever a plane would fly over.
     The occasional splash of water always made her smile.  Maybe it was them saying good morning to her. 
     She smiled as she picked up her book.  Why did she choose this one?  She didn’t really like westerns. That was more Sam’s style.  He used to tease her about all her romance books.  Oh well maybe it was time to try something new.  Turning the first page she soon found herself engrossed in it. 
     “Cowboys and horses?  Who would of thought  I would get wrapped up in that”  She smiled to herself.  Rising from her chair she realized she had been sitting there so long every bone in her body was stiff and sore.
     It wasn’t long and five chapters later, she laid the book down giving her eyes a rest.  The light breeze blew against her skin.  It was times like this that she imagined the touch of the wind, was Sam’s caress.  She closed her eyes, soaking in his imagined touch.
*****
     “Trinket, what are you doing?”  Sam’s voice echoed around her.
      “Taking a nap.”  She whispered.
     “No, Trinket, what are you doing?”  His voice turned stern.
     She opened her eyes to find Sam standing in front of her.  “Enjoying the warm breeze.”
     “Trinket, you were never good at lying to me.  You have to move on honey.  Your killing yourself.  Look at you.  You have dark circles under your eyes.”
     She felt anger hit her.  “No, I didn’t kill anyone.  You killed you and Mandy!  You should have taken me with you damn it.  You wanna know why I have dark circles around my eyes, it’s because I can’t sleep.  You want to know why, because you and that damn plane took my life away from me and left me here to suffer.”
     She watched as a sadness washed over his face.  “I didn’t know.  If I had known I wouldn’t have taken her.  I swear.”
     “Yeah, well think about that before you try to tell me what I’m doing to myself.”  She felt the tears trying to swell from her eyes.
     “There is nothing we can do.  What is done is done.  Now, you need to wipe your face and pull yourself together.  Someone has been patiently waiting to see you.”
     She felt her body tense.  Quickly her hands came to her eyes, wiping away evidence of her upset.
     “Mommy!  I missed you.”  She looked up to her baby, her Mandy running towards her.  Her feet kissing the top of the water as she made her way across it.  Trinket stood.  She couldn’t believe her eyes.  It had been so long.  Quickly she wrapped her arms around Mandy, pulling her up and into her chest.
     “Oh baby I have missed you.”  She felt the tears falling uncontrollably now and there was nothing she could do to stop them.
     “Why are you crying Mommy?  You are supposed to be happy.  I didn’t mean to make you sad again.”
     “I’m not sad honey, Mommy is very happy right now.”
     Mandy pulled her head from Trinket’s shoulder.  She looked into her eyes, “Your sad all the time Mommy.  I see you cry always.”
     “What do you mean, you see me cry?”
     “Daddy said we can’t go to our new home until you stop crying.  We watch you sometimes.”
     “You’ve been watching me.”
     “Yep.  When you come out here to talk to us, we hear you.  We hear you when you lay in bed to.”
     “Mandy, why don’t you go play for a while, I need to talk to Mommy.”
     Mandy crawled down out of her arms and ran back to shore.  Trinket watched as Mandy ran along, kicking the sand with her toes.  The little blue dress she had worn that day, flapping in the wind.
     “You have to move on Trinket.  Sell this place, go somewhere and be the Trinket that we both know and love.”
     She didn’t take her eyes away from Mandy.  “That’s easier said than done.”
     “Ok, do you want us to keep floating around out here?  I can’t move on, we can’t move on, until we know you are happy.”
     “I will never be happy again.”
      “Then Mandy and I will be stuck here forever.”
     “Is that such a bad thing?  At least here we are together again.”
     “Only when you dream.  Do this for me.  Do this for us.  Let go.”  His voice fell to a whisper.  She watched as Mandy quit playing looking back at her, she smiled.  Her little hand began waving goodbye in the air.  Trinket stood quickly, diving into the water.  She swam as fast as she could back to shore, but slowly Mandy disappeared.  That smiling face was no longer there. 
                                                                                  *****
      Trinket woke with a start, tumbling over into the water.  She broke the surface with a gasp.  She felt a knot in her chest.  She lay back in the warmth of the water and began floating.  She didn’t care where to.  She didn’t need anything but her family back.
     Her family that was stuck or so he had said.  It was then in that moment, that she made up her mind.

Wish I had me some Rough Ryder.  Wanna meet Ryder?  Pick him up at amazon.com!  Happy Reading!

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